Did you hear Our brains are hardwired for gossip

Did you hear Our brains are hardwired for gossipDid you hear Our brains are hardwired for gossipHave you ever felt that your workplace - which may look like a mild-mannered gathering of people in business casual - is sometimes as treacherous as the infamously backstabbing Court of Louis XIV?Of course you have. Thats why Game of Thrones is so popular in every middle manager fretting over the year-end budget, there is a eignung Littlefinger waiting to emerge.So yes, we know the bad side of gossip the irresponsibility of it, the perpetual factlessness, the maliciousness, the way it tears apart teams and makes people leave their jobs. Office gossips also tend to be enormous time-wasters, spending more time talking smack than getting work done.But gossip can be good, too. Yes, take your hands off your ears gossip can be helpful in certain situations. Sure, too much venting and complaining is not helpful, but learning some otherwise-obscure details about your co-workers can teach you who is trustworthy and who you should avoid. Gossip is, in other words, the way that we can engage in the centuries-old human practice of sizing each other up and navigating complex social systems.And guess what? Whether you love it or hate it, gossip is not going away. Because our brains are built for it.Hardwired for socialA new study shows how this gossiping impulse is built into our very neurons. A 2017 study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences highlighted the stakes of developing those social networks knowledge about other people is critical for group survival and may have unique cognitive processing demands.The researchers asked 50 participants to learn biographical information, such as occupation, marital position and personality traits, about fictional people. The participants were then asked to recall that information three days later with different cues like giving the participants a face or a name.In each scenario, the anterior temporal lobe, or ATL, was t he neural switchboard coordinating how our brains could represent abstract concepts about a person - Bill is an introvert- and rapidly retrieve this person knowledge.This makes sense our brains are also wired to understand information better when it comes in the form of a story. (Which is why all the great epics, from Beowulf to Gilgamesh, have lasted so long despite their incredible length theyre in story form).Theres another reason we store information about others so well because were always looking for insight into our own behavior.Gossip makes you evaluateyourselfA 2014 study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin defined gossip as positive or negative evaluative talk about someone who is not present. Researchers found that, for better or worse, were social creatures who use evaluative information about others to evaluate ourselves. Do you know anyone who measures himself against a celebrity? Thats why we want to know how were doing compared to the leaders in our sp ecies (and feel superior to the laggards).Heres an example Researchers got over 150students at a Dutch university to recall an incident where someone told them positive or negative gossip about a students competence. Students were then asked to reflect on the information with statements like The information I received made me feel that I am doing well compared to X in the group assignment.Learning positive gossip about other people was linked to a self-improvement value, so that learning about other peoples accomplishments allowed individuals to picture similar future success for themselves. Learning negative gossip about others, in comparison, helped individuals with their self-promotion, or a sense of pride. Hearing about others failure allowed individuals to feel good about where they stood in the social hierarchy. Men in the study felt their egos inflate more than women when they heard negative gossip, researchers found.Negative gossip also increased self-protection concerns for all recipients, or fears that they too could become objects of bad office gossip.Overall, the researchers found that women were more sensitive to gossip than men, and that men felt less self-protective fear when they heard about negative gossip than women, leading them to conclude women may be more sensitive than men to information revealing a benign or malignant social environment and may also derive their self-views to a higher extent from it.In the end, gossip is like any addictive substance such as alcohol or cigarettes a little may not hurt you, but use it responsibly or you could really feel some pain.

Leaders Set the Work Pace Through Their Expectations and Example

Leaders Set the Work Pace Through Their Expectations and ExampleLeaders Set the Work Pace Through Their Expectations and ExampleEnlightened leadership is spiritual if we understand spirituality not as some kind of religious dogma or ideology but as the domain of awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, beauty, love, and compassion, and also intuition, creativity, insight, and focused attention. - Deepak Chopra The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If youre in control, theyre in control. - Tom Landry Many years ago, an employee interviewed for what turned out to be her very first job managing people. She welches naive and optimistic, a fact that must have amused the vice president of HR who interviewed her. She asked, Why do you want to manage people? Her answer was something along the lines of, I know a lot about this area and I fee l like I can be agreat ratgeber to people. Im really excited to share what I know about HR data with others and build a great team. She laughed and said, Ill tell you a secret. Managing people is a pain in the behind. The employee was given the job anyway, and she started with a heart full of hope and a head full of ideas. But she was woefully unprepared to manage other humans. Sure, she knew HR data like the back of her hand, but she hadnt ever had to exercise leadership skills as a manager before. She got off to a bumpy start, but then, through her own great manager as well as lots of trial and error, she learned how to lead. One of the key points about leadership is that a leader sets the pace throughexpectationsand example. Setting the Pace If youre always in a panic, jumping anytime someone says boo and constantly stressed out about accomplishing all of the work, your staff will experience stress as well. One secret about work is that without meaning to, you can turn a reas onable workload into a complete nightmare of stress. Instead, as a leader, sit down andevaluate whether the pressure you are feeling is real or imagined. Imagined pressure doesnt mean that you dont really have deadlines and clients (internal and external) that make unrealistic demands on your time. Imagined pressure means that you impose on yourself things that arent necessary to get the job done. Sometimes, pressure actually goes away if you push back a little. If youve experienced a manager who was always frantic and constantly putting out fires, you know the affect this behavior has on employees. Everyone was stressed out, all of the time. But most of her pressure was imagined. She had the idea that she had to deliver right now for everything. The reality was that the clients didnt need what she was demanding of her staff. One Friday, she came to her reporting staff at 430 and said that the Senior VP of HR needed this project as soon as possible. She estimated that the project wo uld take about 4 hours of solid work, so everyone would have to work late. Fortunately for her staff, the project description was missing a key piece of information, so they had to call the Senior VPs schreibstube and ask about that detail. While on the phone with her admin, the staff membersaid, When does she need this? The response was, Oh, shes presenting the information on Wednesday, so if I could have it by midday Tuesday, that would be great. It was imagined stress and pressure that the boss had placed on her staff and that her staff, in turn, was placing on their staff. They dont know why the boss made up an earlier deadline, as her staff had never missed deadlines, but they also dont know about the reliability of the other players on her team. In this situation, they reduced the stress level by refusing to give into the frenetic pace. Instead, The staff checked client deadlines on their own and relayed the true information to their staff. The work was completed on time, with happy clients, and the work pace stayed manageable. Setting Expectations Do your employees know what you really expect and need from them? Do you sometimes say, X is a priority. and then come back later and ask why they havent finished Y yet?Your expectations are off. Setting expectations is actually easy if you remember to do it. Often you keep things in your head and assume the other person will automatically know what you need. So, instead of saying, Can you finish up this report by the end of the day? say, Can you gather the sales data, put it into the saatkorn format as the Anderson report you did last week and ask Karen to proofread it for you? I need to have this finalized report by 500 today, and I already told Karen to expect that report for proofreading by 400 at the latest. Does that work for you? See how that differs from Just do it? How would your employee know that you wanted a second pair of eyes to proofread the report if you didnt tell her? How would she know t hat you wanted her to use the Anderson format instead of the Jones format if you didnt tell her? When you walk away from this assignment, expectations are set, and the employee knows what you need. Youve also provided a chance for the employee to voice concerns. Its far better to know that shes going to have trouble meeting the deadline 8 hours in advancethan to be surprised when the report isnt completed on time. A true leader works within reality, and that sometimes means changing expectations. Leading by Example Do you gossip about your coworkers, bosses, and direct reports and then discipline your employees for doing the same? It doesnt provide a good example for employees. One of the best bosses observed was a master at leading by example. By watching her staff members learned how to run a meeting, how to handle an employees personal crisis, and how to push back against unrealistic demands. Do you want employees who get to work on time? Youd better show up on time. Do you w ant employees who are kind to customers? Dont talk about customers behind their backs. Do you want employees who do their work on time, with a high degree of accuracy? Youd best do the same. Sometimes bosses forget that they need to demonstrate leadership as well. A boss can sit in an office barking orders, but a leader gets in there and helps with the work. For several years, a department was responsible for processing theannual salary increasesfor 30,000 employees. That, alone, is a huge amount of work, but the staff had to take it one step further- every single one of those employees needed a piece of paper with their increase on it.In addition, every single manager needed a list of their employees and the ultimately approved salary increase. So that meant that staff had to stuff a ridiculous number of envelopes. Their direct boss was a vice president in a Fortune 100 company. Where was she during the envelope stuffing? Stuffing envelopes with the rest of her staff. Did they all jump when she told them to jump? You bet they didbecause they knew she was right there with them. Now, while there are certainly times when a leader isnt doing the work with you (after all, you have different responsibilities), a true leader does unpleasant tasks when necessary and jumps in to help when its feasible. Your example will shine through and youll be rewarded with a loyal staff that works hard. Characteristics of a Successful Leadership Style Much is written about what makes successful leaders. This series will focus on the characteristics, traits and actions that many leaders believe are key. Choose to lead.Be the person others choose to follow.Provide imagination for the future.Provide inspiration.Make other people feel important and appreciated.Live your values. Behave ethically.Leaders set the pace through your expectations and example.Establish an environment of continuous improvement.Provide opportunities for people to grow, both personally and professionally.Ca re and act with compassion.

A Guide for Handling Inappropriate Interview Questions

A Guide for Handling Inappropriate einstellungsgesprch QuestionsA Guide for Handling Inappropriate Interview QuestionsA Guide for Handling Inappropriate Interview QuestionsJob hunting can be stressful.As a candidate, you put a lot of effort into crafting your cover letter and your resume, networking your way to the perfect openings, and managing your nerves on the day of the bewerbungsgesprch. You want to make a good impression by answering questions in a way that positions you as a strong candidate.So what do you do if the hiring manager poses inappropriate interview questions - or worse, illegal? TWEETUnfortunately, this is bedrngnis a hypothetical question. You may be surprised to find out that according to asurveyconducted by Harris Poll, a shocking 20% ofover 2,000 hiring and human resource managers that were surveyed indicated they have asked a candidate illegal interview questions. When the same group of hiring managers was presented with a list of illegal questions and asked whetherbei they were legal, at least 33% said they werent sure. Since you cannot always rely on the hiring managers to do the right thing, researching this subject before the big day can help you map out tricky territory. First off, lets draw the line on what illegal interview questions are. In summary, race, gender, nationality, religion, military status, marital status, and disability are all protected categories. That means employers cannot use them to discriminate in their hiring practices.That sounds reasonable, you might say. What does that look like in practice? Here are some examples of questions that are illegal during the interview process. Some of them are so obvious you might cringe. Others are veiled and round-about. You might even spot one or two that you have been asked in an interview I know I didWho will take care of your children while you are at work?A good rule of thumb on any question that hints at gender or family status discrimination is to ask yourself, Woul d the employer be asking this if I were the opposite gender? The implication in this question is that you may not be able to fulfil the responsibilities of the job because you are a parent.A legal way of asking this question might look like this Will you be available to be present in the office from 9 to 6 during the work week? As long as that is a valid job requirement, and the question is asked of every candidate, clarifying availability is fair game.Are you planning to have more children?You family plans are legally off-limits in an interview, and this is definetly an inappropriate interview question. While you may be tempted to share pregnancy or toddler stories with a hiring manager (especially if she comes across as friendly or has a picture of a young child on her desk), the prudent thing to do is to refrain from doing so.How often are you away for Army Reserve training?This is an example of a discriminatory question based on military status. A legal way of reframing this que stion is, Are you available to travel two weeks out of the month to exhibit at conferences and visit clients? If those are legitimate job requirements.Have you ever been arrested?Asking about the arrest history of the candidate is an illegal interview question. Notably, the hiring manager can ask whether or not you have been convicted of a crime, or have used illegal drugs in the last 3 months, as neither criminal conviction nor illegal drug use are protected categories.Are you on any medication?This can be viewed as a roundabout way to ask about your health history and possible disability. A legal way to address the underlying concern is, Are you fit to operate heavy machinery, as would be required by this job description?Do you attend church every Sunday?This question hints at potential religious discrimination. A legal way to address a legitimate employment concern is along the lines of, Are you available for after-hours and weekend work duty if needed?What year did you graduate from high school?This is just another way of asking how old you are. Not OK.Now that you know what illegal and inappropriate interview questions might look like, what should your strategy be if one of those lands in your court? You have one of three choices.Answer the question. Many candidates do this as a default simply because they are afraid of coming across as non-collaborative, or dont see anything wrong with the question. My advice is to consider simply answering the question if you are comfortable doing so. Short and sweet answers are best.Refuse to answer the question. With an illegal question, it is certainly within your rights to not answer it. You can point to the protected nature of the category as your reason for not answering. Most employers will back off. Be prepared that this strategy can create some awkwardness not through any fault of yours, but uncomfortable nonetheless.Answer the intent of the question. This vorkaufsrecht allows you to protect your rights and ta ctfully address the hiring managers valid concern. You can offer a response that targets the heart of the question. Instead of answering Where were you born? directly, you might way If you meant to ask whether I am legally allowed to work in the United States, the answer is yes. Alternatively, you could redirect with a clarifying question. Help me understand why this matters, because I want to better understand the job Im interviewing for, will do the trick.Now that we got illegal questions out of the way, lets briefly address inappropriate questions. Believe it or not, cringe-worthy questions are sometimes asked at interviews. HR professionals are usually better trained on this subject, but it is not unheard of for line managers to ask whatever comes to mind. Some examplesDo you get PMS?Can you flirt with customers to make them spend more money?Can you wear more makeup?Your choices on an inappropriate interview question are essentially the same as for an illegal question. You can a nswer it directly, use humor to redirect, or ask the hiring manager to demonstrate how the question applies to the position you are applying for. If an inappropriate question turns you sour on the position, consider it a blessing in disguise and fodder for a good story.In closing, my best advice when dealing with illegal and inappropriate interview questions is to remain calm. In the interview, as in the rest of your professional life, you have control over what happens next. Dont let a prospective employer bully you into disclosing something that you are not comfortable with.Occasionally, hiring managers use illegal questions as an intimidation tool. Most of the time, however, the interviewer may not realize he is asking an illegal or an inappropriate question. This is particularly true if a portion of the interview is an informal lunch with prospective co-workers. Because of the relaxed setting, it can be easy for them to slip into personal territory with you that might be normal among them but is not appropriate in the context of an interview. Remember that you are in charge, dont get defensive, and protect your personal boundaries with grace and confidence. Aim to diffuse the situation, and use this as an opportunity to showcase your interpersonal skills.Need help with your resume? Take advantage of our free critique today Related Articles